I abhor this group of cultist manipulators. Firstly, can I say that after being forced to meetings, I had to liberate myself after three weeks. It was either that or becoming freaking insane. Those so called "Elders", or old time members are fucking evil zealots, unhappy specimens, normally of the political left, who try to ram their bullshit theories of powerlessness and disease down others throats. The old fuckers just don't get it. For fuck sake, THEY are the hopeless ground feeders of society. By they way, I have been had another diagnosis and I am NOT and alcoholic! The AA members are the dysfunctional bums of society! They do nothing about fucking man about the failures of their meaningless existences. I don't want to hear how hopeless you cunts have been. Its their own fucking fault they have had all the shit happen to them. They should stop having a chip on their shoulder. You people should leave the rest of us alone and ORGANIZE A MASS AA MEMBER SUICIDE in honour of that psychotic fucker you worship, Bill W, how created this despicable organization!! Some of the members say they have been sober for 30 years. BULL FUCKING SHIT!! I bet half of you apathetic fuckwads have a sneaky drink every night! Why do the pricks keep going along then if they are so successful? And no, since I have left the "program" I have not ended up in Prison or killed myself like you said would happen if I "didn't work the program" I wish the AA members would all shove a copy of the big book up the arrogant, self-righteous puckers!!!
Having been through 'rehab' I am angry at the complete ineffectiveness of it. I am not an addict or an alcoholic, I am me, and I am tired of being labeled and have that over my head from the rest of my life because I had an extremely stressful year and I drank too much. It really is my business what I do with my body and if I want to hurt myself that's my business fuck you. Rehab and group therapy does not work and is a waste of time and money I, AA is bullshit, it doesn't work, and group therapy only made me realize that there are a lot of people way more fucked up then me, but it didn't help me at all, in fact, the whole process just made me what do drink more! I am sorry I went through the process and I am pissed off that now I have this damn label that no one will see past and I didn't get better from it at all, I used other sources, and its a business its run like a factory with no heart, no soul, and its expensive and can I mention it again totally ineffective.
These fuckers are sick. There is no doubt in my mind that they have diseased minds. And its these parasitic Baby-boomer, yuppie, sellouts, that passively conform to the ways of old and evil. Puritans and Hedonists. The puritan would not know who he/she is without judging the hedonist, and the hedonist would not know who he/she is without blaming the puritan. All this shit comes down to ego. Most individuals who choose to go to AA have identified half their lives with" I love my beer" then make some half assed decisions when drunk and feel guilty and get sent (by the courts) or themselves to AA. Where they now proclaim that "I don't drink alcohol". do you see it ???We went from one extreme view to the opposite extreme view. If the primary source of all human suffering is this "I" thought and all the attachments this "I" attaches to then why detach from one egoic identity to another. Another thing, an individual does not gain worthiness by not ingesting or ingesting something, you get it by worthwhile acts. Any fuckin American can go to any 7-11 or "convenience store" purchase a multitude of different addictive substances such as caffeine, alcohol, refined white sugar, nicotine, porno mags, rolling papers, and they offer gambling before you leave the fuckin place. This country is attached to "something out there" to make everything better. And if you were raised religious your double-fucked cause it was instilled in you your whole upbringing that you are not whole and complete without the acceptance and approval of some spooky father figure in the clouds. This is wrong. You are perfect complete and whole just the way you are, anyone who says different is full of shit.My advice, be responsible for all of your decisions in life, trace back all the bullshit that has been programmed into your head through religion, government, the media and any source of outside information. Look at the facts, objective thinking only when dealing with matters of survival, suspend subjective thinking. And if you really want to be free of the diseased mind of America---Find out #1 What is good and bad. And #2 what is taxable and what is not. When you understand the answers to these two questions, add self-interest to the equation and the attachments of this Selfish, Greedy, Materialistic culture will no longer enslave you. One more thing that --"I"-- thought is not to be despised, be grateful that its there cause now you can see what is beyond all attachment to separate identity.
I have been with my boyfriend for a great six months. Unfortunately, he is a member of the cult of AA. At first it wasnt so bad. At first if he went to one or two meetings a week and did not drink, life was wonderful. Then his sober friends started telling him that weekends with me at hurting him. Then he needed to spend more time with his pastor. Now its if he spends a weekend with me instead of seven days of religious meetings, he will not only start drinking again, but will kill him self by binge drinking. Since the fat fk wont stop eating a box of cookies until he swallows each crumb, clearly the prob is with him. He has no self control. F AA to preach that it is me, and that I am the problem. To each AA member: Dear Mr and Mrs Tom Cruz, please drink your self into oblivean, at least till you see those aliens pop out of the volcanos. Drink the Koolaid. Psycho cult freaks!!!!!
A.A. sucks I tried their way but it turns out I was depressed. Sorry A.A. but your people are not counselers or doctors. Save the diagnostics for someone who went to school. 2 years of my life wasted and all I wanted to do was have a good time, and when I did no one person wanted anything to do with me!
I did an internet search "fuck AA" and found this site, it's nice to see there are people out there with a drinking problem that think AA is full of brainwashed D-bags that walkaround preaching like self proclaimed profits. They talk of alcoholism as a disease, thats bullshit, the reason why people drink I believe is because of underlying undiagnosed physiological disorders. The whole program is centered on the fact that you have to team up with a power greater than yourself to succeed in recovery. Now do you really think a higher power gives a flying fuck if you need to drink to get through your day? He or she would probably ask why you're such a pussy! The thing that pisses me off the most is that every meeting that I have ever been to there is always some dickhead that says, oh my life was so shitty before now it is great after being sober for a short period of time, and I think oh just like that? really? Which brings me to another point I would like to stress. I believe that a certain percentage of people in AA are so successful and happy with long bouts of sobriety because they are fucking phonies. Yeah bogus.. you know in rehab I actually overhead someone say that they thought they were an alcoholic because they drank every weekend WTF. These are great percentages of people who sponser, speak, and give hope to people who are really fucked up like me. To add insult to injury these people are the first to walk out on you, and place judgment when relapse occurs. You know some people buy into this shit, and you know what I'm happy for them, but there are other angles to look at other that reading the 'big book' and asking a greater power to help you stop drinking. Thank you for listening....FUCK AA!!
I feel betrayed by AA. I went for ten years, bought into all the crap, got brainwashed and stupid, and they were wrong!
I have had depression since I was eight. My first bout of depression in AA was at two years. I couldn't leave the house. This current bout has been going on for almost four years. When I reached out in AA, all I got was, "keep coming back" or "this too shall pass." The people I'd trusted for ten years left me behind when things started to suck and I couldn't testify to the grandeur of AA. They pulled a bait-and-switch. Not one person came up to me after a meeting where I talked about the tremendous pain I was in. Not even at my 'home group'. When I stopped going altogether, not one person called.
They told me my problem was that I was an alcoholic and that everything would be wonderful if I just didn't drink. You know what? I'm not an alcoholic! I can have a drink or two and leave it; no problem. My problem is that I have been depressed for years. So depressed that I can't bathe. So depressed that I've had multiple ECT treatments that didn't work either! The AA answer? You're the problem. If you could just (insert whatever BS phrase you want here) you would be "happy, joyous and free".
You know what? I worked the steps umpteen times, I sponsored people, I did service work. I still want to die!
Phonies all the way. AA spouts a bunch of platitudes and minimizes most of life while maximizing, even overstating, the effects of drinking. Oh, and a higher power? Doesn't f-ing care! Thank you very much. An 'HP' doesn't care if you're miserable, or if you drink or don't, or if you smoke or cuss or anything else! You should care!
AA taught me that I do not need to be angry any more. I am here because I am angry at AA.
People drink because they want to get drunk. People go to aa so they can make someone else responsible for their problems. Hey! if I have a disease and need help, maybee I wont have to work! Hey! if I get a sponsor and what they tell me doesnt work out, I can make my failure their fault. Hey! if I go to a meeting and hear a lame boaring talk maybee I can bum a couple of bucks or get laid. Fuck aa and all the loosers that go there. Especially the ones with fast cycling depression, bi-polar disorder, or some other form of "i am sick, please help me" BULLSHIT!
I went to AA and saw a bunch of dried up and used people spouting crap like "if you want what I have, you will do what I do" What a bunch of losers. The topic of the meeting was, when one door closes another opens. Seriously, are you guys so retarded that you cant face reality and talk like adults? Try this... When one situation ends, you may or may not find yourself available for another. What a bunch of self righteous Polly Anna crap. I canít believe the courts send people there.
I got sent to AA by the courts for a drunk in public charge I got while leaving a friends wedding reception. I met a guy at the meeting who I dated. I got a venereal disease from him and then found out they call him "Newcomer-Fucker". Now I can't get my court card completed because I am afraid to go back. Someone told me that they gave me the nickname "Beef-Curtains" because I have large labia and am a bit heavy. How utterly humiliating, AA sucks, I will never go back.
I can't believe how ignorant people are when they're try and snub AA as a whole, from their own single idiotic point of view. For example if you were forced their that's of your own fault, everyone else is there on their own accord... for a good reason, it helps them stay sober. And if you don't want to hear what they have to say then don't fuck up in our society and be placed there. And to say AA should leave the rest of us alone.. sorry but the whole fellowship is based on attraction not promotion to keep anonymity.
For the person that says I don't want to have to be labled. It's for your own sake so that your -OH what do you know- NOT IN DENIAL. And oh I just had a bad year, well go out and try some more controlled drinking, and saying that the process made you want to drink more, well probably want to think about that statement. Find a higher power for christ sake.
Oh and whats this about AA fuckers are sick and theres no doubt that they have diseased minds. Almost sounds like you read out of the big book good job. The people are sick and it is a disease you jerk offs. And to say they are bums and do nothing worthy. Bet none of you have gone to every damn person you felt disgust for, or totally screwed you more then you did them. And say you are sorry without ever mentioning they're wrongs and asking them if there was anything they could do to make it up to them, and actually go through with what each of them asked. none of you. I couldn't believe the crap I have read.
To the selfish and jealous girlfriend, if the your guy needs to
do something everyweek to stop him from drunkinly beating you or to save his
life from catastrophe then let him fuckin save his life, what the fuck? And if
more then a couple of people say your crazy ass is almost driving him to drink
with your insistent nagging of AA then it is most definatly your stubbornly
undiagnosed physiological disorders... mental disease. Tomato tomahto. Nuff said. Oh and don't forget to judge, distrust, and doubt cause I'm sure you really do know if they really have had a drink, when they've been stackin up years of soberiety unlike your hopeless ungrateful punkass.
Sorry to the people who've had a long run with AA and say they couldn't solve their depression. AA isn't going to pump up your low serotonin get on an anti-depressant. what the fuck?
When door closes another opens.. ya I guess some people are just so closed minded they can't see this in their lives, try sending out some positive energy maybe your days won't suck so much. NEXT.
Girls.. more so newcomer girls, my my my, I don't get why you girls can't see it coming. Their are assholes inside AA just as well as there are assholes outside AA. Not AA's fault your not a good judge of character. In AA they're called predators you might better know them as "players" outside of AA. All in all either pick the winners or keep it in your thigh high skirt.
Wake the fuck up self rightous judgemental scum bags. Open your mind and maybe just maybe you'll learn something. God you ignorant fucks are annoying, shut the fuck up.
Im 16 and i went to rehab for they a fuckin year because i made bad choices and smoked alot of weed and partied a little too much. now here at this rehab they taught me the TWELVE STEPS OF ANAL ASS (AA) this rehab you get signed into and by law you cant leave and theres security at entrances. so of course i have to ADMIT i am powerless over my drinking if i want to move on in the program and than find a higher power and all this dumb fuckin shit, it is a straight up cult who thinks they are the fuckin shit and they claim that they cure people and save lives. its all a bunch of dumb physchotic fuck heads who have mentals problems and drink because of it. diabetes is a disease, cancer is a disease, there is no fuckin proven fact that alcoholism is a disease. they fuckin brainwashed me for a year in that place and now im starting to realize its all in my fuckin head and the choices i make. FUCK AA AND ALL YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKERS WHO THINK ALCOHOLISM IS A DISEASE!!!
I am so angry with this waste of time group, phony social circle and here's why...
Their "suggestions" promote repression of healthy natural emotion and the worst thing you can do in this twisted social circle jerk is to challenge their "program". If you do, you will be the recipient of all kinds of tear downs especially "mentally ill, crazy" and the like proported to be a 'deflation' of ego which they claim it's members need. There's a large difference between being humble and a large conglomerate of assholes trying to make you feel like a worm just because they have led a life of hell raising so they think they need to tear each other as well as themselves down at every given chance!
If you're angry about something, they'll say "you're not working the program" in order to brow beat one into conforming to their psychotic idea of what they think life is supposed to be like. Or they'll point out the obvious and say ," That's anger ". Well duh! Why, would anyone want to live like that? If someone wants to ingest alcohol they will, if they don't they don't have to. But don't go on telling naive uninformed people that if they don't do what these friggen signs with 'steps' on them that tower over these groups in almost every meeting place in the world. They go on telling these suckers that if they don't follow them they are doomed to various and sundry awful outcomes. By doing this, the person is subtly programmed to actually drink their brains out if they don't listen to their stupid remarks and quotes which are often totally contradictory and full of nonsense. And most importantly, their stupid advise often can not be demonstrated in actual personal experience. It just sounds good to say.
Then, if you really get rolling, it will be "suggested" that you go on ahead and make a list of every single person that ever did something wrong to you or caused you any grief or basically made you angry as hell. Yeah! Alright, as though that weren't infuriaing enough, later you will go apologize or "make amends" to these people to which you've been on the recieving end of their crap. That's where I draw the line. Nuts! Then they'll say your in "denial" or the "rebellious alcoholic" if you happen to call a spade a spade and put the finger on their stupidity and dare to take a stand against it by being an individual and not following the herd so that you can "get what they have" as they say. Whatever they have is not good, I don't want it and no thanks.
Furthermore, if one of them happens to upset anyone's day (usually by asshole behavior), well the psychos will often remind you that you are not responsible for anyone else's feelings and to let those people clean up the mess that was created by it. Or that you can't "control" how someone else feels so why care. Loosers!
And they say that they are "just telling it like it is" and "not sugar coating anything" as an excuse for being rude or even hostile. Ridiculous on it's face!!!
I have found better things to do with my time than be held hostage to some fuck head maniac talking about his pathetic "story" and lying about how awesome life is today, with little to no evidence presented. This group seems to just keep one another sick and encourage each other to top drama by any means nessesary up to and including complete exaggeration and even making up stories of things that never happened. They seem to be a bunch of sado-massochists that beat up on each other and themselves at the same time. They'll sit there before a group of people and call them selves names like stupid, sick etc... etc... etc... That, ironically is the only "truth" in anything they'll say.
The sponsors are the cruelest bunch of psychopaths as well. They become verbally abusive to their "sponsees" and directly to their faces too. They hammer your head with everything that goes wrong is "YOU". If you are happy, they'll say that you're not being "Honest" If you look good, they'll suspect that there is something, somewhere that must be wrong. And God forbid anyone work and have a life and basically have more productive things to do than to frequent a stupid meeting, which by the way often makes one more frustrated than before they even went to the dang thing! No, maybe I'm just avoiding your insanity, AA. Maybe, just maybe, I don't want to live like that. Perhaps you are paranoid that everyone, including myself is off on some bender just because you don't see my face around you people! They make me angry because they will approach you, if they happen to see you asking you if you're "alright". Yeah, I'm alright! Especially since I haven't been to one of your dumbass meetings. Furthermore, I will be much better once I am done talking to you and move on with my day. Screw you jerks and your cluster fuck.
In fact, right now as I was writing this one of it's members, in response to one of my friendly and gentle blow offs just replied that there was some kind of problem and that this "problem" was "me." To be more specific: Now they see that "money was the problem and not me" probably because I am busy working. The fucked up logic must be that if I earn money that somewhere still exists some kind of problem. Well welcome to life idiots! Everyone has some kind of problem. For instance, I still need to take out the garbage today. And you'd better believe I'm happy to be at work and yes money helps a ton. So By the way, I don't even drink and haven't in a decade. This was in response to a message I sent to them saying I was far too busy at work to get together. I could have said- "I don't have time to hang out and wail with you and bang myself over the head about imaginary and exaggerated problems."
They way they browbeat each other! Where do grown adults get off talking to other grown adults this way? Who knows, who cares. Something "wrong" with me? Like hell there is!
This group is hardly the glowing examples that appear in it's "Big Book."
I hate Alcoholics Anonymous. The best thing I ever did was to liberate myself from it's insanity. The very thing they try to get rid of is ironically the state which they encourage one another to stay stuck in for life. That is remaining sick. That's been my experience. I feel much better and am thriving since I have not been there.
I am more dissapointed than angry. I went on a AA chat line just for extra encouragement and this person Banana's lodgged on during the meeting looking for help. All those arrogant jerks were too busy posting their whinning messages as they held the floor to even help this poor 24yrs old Banana's person who scared about getting help and wanting a support group in their area...they totally ignored Banana's who was new to wanting recovery and went on and on about how shitty their day was and how they dropped their ice cream cone or some dumb crap like that. Well Banana's logged off and did God knows what..JERKS! Self center arrogant pieces of crap. I would have stopped my endless rambling and helped the kid! AA sucks get sober on your own folks! Only God can help you through it and a few good friends!
AA is a KILLING MACHINE. Fucked up hobo's with nothing better to do than drag each other through the mud. The "CHOSEN ONES" my ass. Congradulating themselves nightly on how they struggled through another day sucking the system dry while making excuses for not working. A good psychologist and the balls to say I'm not drinking anymore is all it takes. Fucking drains, system sucking drains. All the fucking money that goes into appeasing these helpless assholes is stomach turning. One AA asshole on the Facebook AA page said that most drunk driving accidents were caused by non-alcoholics. I couldn't believe the stupid twisted audacity of this freak. AAers love AA because it's a great place to meet other assholes with an inexhaustable supply of exciting ways to keep acting like assholes. Most of them look like shit fat with bad skin. Women that dress as though they're auditioning for a pole dancing job. DO THEY EVEN WORK? IS it too much to get a job and put a pittance back into the system they slurp from? These are the assholes that vote liberal by the way. Take, take, and take some more because they're so unique and miraculous. No accountability for these dumb, typical, fat, gossipping, arrogant, temper tantrum throwing, DANGEROUS people. AA has to be disbanded. I mean for cryin' out loud Heinrich Himmler was a member of the OXFORD GROUP and AA borrowed heavily from their dogma. Heinrich Fricking Himmler - how can they be so fricking stupid? If you ask them to investigate the origins of their god - Bill Wilson - they shut down much like a 3 year old being told to brush his teeth.
I found this quote that describes AA just nicely.
"When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly perposterous and its speaker a raving lunatic." ó Dresden James
You know what I've been doing for fun is finding AA websites and posting information on them from the Orange Papers plus adding my own slant. I've been real nice, real respectful, you know just presenting a different view, but the AAers are another story. They spewed venomious hate and tried to belittle me in every which way including that they felt sorry for me. Imagine being pittied by a welfare bum - too funny. I got my very first death threat because I wasn't towing the party line. It's funny as all get out - they can't stand it when you don't take the bait to get personally involved in their games. So I just present information in a factual manner then watch the fur fly - hahahahaha.
Anyway, I'm getting a headache. Going out for a run - something you won't see AAers doing.
For anyone wanting to kick drinking in the ass take a look at Chris Prentiss book. I don't have any stake in it other than I figure if you came here you might be looking for a way to knock off the drinking plus state your case against AA. Or not.
I went to about 10 meetings, the first few were all right and all of sudden I started to get really sweaty and anxious every time I would walk in the room, another common element was everybody had their heads bowed down, as if they were ashamed, ashamed to have given up s much,
I understand some people need help, but replacing one addiction with another is typical of an addict, I realised that a friend of mine was on her 12 step and found me at my lowest, convinced me I needed a meeting as I was hungover and crying cus my "casual lover" had left me, what the fuck did I expect, it was casual, so I went, got a sponsor, who never answered the phone but wanted me to call her everyday, holy fuck did i feel like a loser,
i don't work during the winters so i tend to drink a lot, decided that it was getting out of hand and was gonan take a break, who knew i needed AA, I didn't , now I have to somehow break it to the friend of mine stuck in the cult, and let the sponsor go, although she's already told me she doesn't care, wow,
I really don't wanna be in a cult and I am not an alcoholic,
No one is powerless. A power higher than you did not make you stop drinking. YOU DID. You created the illusion of a god in order not to take responsibility for your actions. It's not YOUR fault, it's GOD'S fault. Bullshit. You have serious unaddressed psychological problems and until they are addressed, you will remain in a seriously unhealthy mental state - the same state that drives you to drink or otherwise obfuscate your problems. Before it was drink, now it's god. You're still not dealing with the WHY you drink. You are not powerless. You have pain that you don't want to think about, so you drink. It's not an illness or a disease or an allergy - it's a bad habit you picked up and became emotionally and physically dependent on. It's not a physiological disease and AA will not make you better. You will sit in a room with a bunch of other people wallowing in your self-pity and perceived powerlessness. You will sever ties with the people who have actually loved you because their loving you purely and unconditionally brings up too many issues of guilt for you and you're driven to drink because they know what your problems are and they still love you and you know what your problems are but you can't love yourself. AA is a distraction. A ruse. Yes, you are not physically poisoning yourself, but you still are not getting psychological help.
GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND USE YOUR POWER AND CHOOSE NOT TO DRINK!
I cannot stand going to AA, I am a suffering alcoholic but still have enough damn sense in my head it's my own frickin fault. I hate going to meetings because even if some of these people have been sober for years, the ones with long term sobriety are some of the most self involved, self serving, selfish people there are. FACT....I have known drug addicts, potheads, slobs, big mouths, a-holes are more giving and benevolent that these so called old timers.
So in summary why don't these OLD TIMERS stop trying to help others ONLY BECAUSE they are told it will help them. How fucking selfish. My question is..."what happens when it dosn't help the old timer anymore"? Do they tell the person they suposedly helping to get lost? Shit yah they will. AA is a selfish program, so selfish that even years of sobreiy an "old timer" is still incapable of giving freely without concern of self gain.
So in conclusion, get sober and stay sober HOW EVER YOU FEEL WORKS FOR YOU! And, when you do don't be a self serving selfish asshole.
My ex boyfriend is part of the AA Step cult - Sex and Love Addiction. This group is absolutely cruel to its members and if you are dating someone involved in a 12 step. RUN RUN RUN !!! The first fucked up thing is the anonymity of the group. There are all of the secret meetings, in which he can't talk about them because he has to remain anonymous. Also, phone calls in the middle of the day and night from people he can't talk about. Or meeting people out in public and not being able to tell me who they are or how he knows them. The looks that you get as his girlfriend will drive you nuts. He is supposed a sex addict, but he was terrible in the bedroom. It's amazing to me that he would go 3 times a week to these meetings for the past 10 YEARS !!! And hang out with these fucked up people who only come for a couple of meetings. In the Sex Addiction 12 Step, they are not allowed to masturbate, or watch porn. Doing so, could only trigger them into a downward slide. So, it was no surprise when he finally cheated on me. I guess that is ok. He also kept a journal, which I ended up reading at the end of our relationship. It was keeping a regular schedule of when and how often he masturbated, and how he felt terrible about it. What a weak willed man !!! The other fucked up thing about 12 step, is that unless you are involved in that cult, you can't possibly understand, and that you are an outsider. 12 steppers are fucked up people who never get in touch with themselves, or reach out to healthier people for advice or help. They are always the victim of a disease, and are living one day at a time. 12 Step is a cult !! Evil !! Non Productive !! Do Not get in a relationship with someone who is in this evil program.
AA made me believe (for a short period of time only, thank god) that I was so sick and so diseased, and that if I ever drank, that I would go through alcohol withdrawal and die and go on a year-long binge and not be able to stop. Well, that doesn't help a hypochondriac like myself.
So, of course, when i did try to cut down, I developed such horrible panic attacks that I had to keep going to the emergency room. It also became a self fulfilling prophecy and destroyed my self-confidence because i was made to believe that i was weak, a failure, POWERLESS, etc. No i am not fucking powerless. I'm not drinking right now and have really good self control.
Fuck you, AA. you put me in more debt through hospital bills than my drinking ever did. you ruined my self-confidence in myself and made me waste a year in rehab programs and your stupid cult meetings when all I had to do was just cut down.
I am 23 and most of my friends drink more than me. there was a
period where i was drinking way too much and was unlucky enough to listen to a
friend that i had a problem and that he could help. he treated me like a weak
puppy that needed to be babied because i couldn't take care of myself. Only now
am i realizing that i have my own power (WOW, NOT POWERLESS YOU FUCKS), to
control myself and be healthy and happy and not spew a bunch of nonsensical
chants and sit in a circle lamenting about how "much i love alcohol and wish i
was drinking it right now." seriously, that's what everyone in AA was always
saying. well, if you like to drink so damn much, go and have a beer for fuck's
sake. And no, one beer won't make you go into a week-long binge, contrary to
what they tell you in the meetings.
To anyone considering AA: Do not go. find a professional counselor if you think you're drinking too much, and if that counselor suggests AA, DON'T LISTEN to them. find another counselor.
Did i mention that they pass around a "Collection plate" and pocket the money, and make you feel guilty if you don't donate?
I have been in and out of AA since 1986, when I was 19 years old. Everyone preaches about their fucking god, whatever he, she, it or whatever their god may be. AA Claims to be a fellowship, but no one fucking talks to me or invites me out for a damn piece of pie, coffee, lunch, etc. Fuck you Assholes Anonymous! Yesterday, when I really needed help with staying sober, I called my sponsor and said I was struggling with sobriety, and the fucker doesn't return my phone call! I called some others on the phone list with the same fucking results! What happened to the part of the Preamble that says "Our primary purpose is to stay sober AND help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety?" AA members claim that if you sponsor yourself you are sponsoring an idiot. If my sponsor doesn't return calls, so much for sponsorship. They claim that if you don't do a 4th and a 5th step you will get drunk again. Bullshit. I know AA's who have never done a 4th and 5th step and have been sober for over 30 years. AA's claim that the only end result for an alcoholic is to be locked up, covered up, or sobered up. Well, whether a person is alcoholic or not, our end choice is always "covered up" at the end of our life. I guess besides having pictures on the wall of our cult co founders, and our cheesy slogans, there is so much more that I could rant about, but I will leave it at this.
I'm so damned angry, because I never hear from my "so-called sponsor" anymore, not for over 6 weeks now. I went on Facebook and saw that she went to California to celebrate her 1 year anniversary of being sober. She never called or e-mailed me to invite me. She's like the 5th sponsor I had!!
So, I have come to the decision that A.A. is not for me anymore. I must do this on my own. So, I have been going to church again (it's better than the meetings that's for sure), working out everyday (more active again), and doing my own thing (I can still go out without drinking).
And A.A. says "it ought never be organized". Well, at the one I was going to every afternoon, they said they are going to start using a timer so people won't take too long to talk and such! WHAT?! That's called being organized, but A.A. isn't supposed to be like that....
What a freakin' joke!!!
I was in what I thought was a normal relationship with a woman who seemed healthy to me. But she was in AA. Her sponsor told her she was becoming co-dependent in her relationship with me and forbid her to see me for thirty days. After that I criticized AA and the sponsor and soon began to receive threats and hateful feedback from other AA members that were desperate to keep my ex in their cult group. The sponsor, meanwhile has not had a relationship with a man in the ten years since she quit drinking herself, and has clearly substitued drinking with creating co-dependent relationships with the poor young women she sponsors. It appears to me to be a sick, dysfunctional, cult like group that can't stand any challenges to its faulty belief systems that all of its members are SICK and HELPLESS. No matter what your level of problem all are branded the same. It is a brainwashing cult that needs to be expunged from society.
I am angry because for 10 years I attended faithfully AA meeting, doing every thing a good AA boy does and what did I get? I will tell you - abandoned. At 10 years I realized that I, even though I tried, I had not made any real friends in AA; what I had was the same group of fair weather friends that I had when I was drinking and just like the barflies when I stopped going to AA meetings the AA"s dropped me like a stone - no inquiries about how I was doing (I did not go back to drinking), not even a call from my sponsor, a man held in great esteem by many AA's. There is a saying in AA "stick with the winners" what they don't tell you is the second half of that saying is "drop the losers like a stone" (ie. anyone who goes out drinking, denounces AA or just gets wise to the bullshit. The majority of AA's are arrogant, selfish, frightened individuals desperate to save their owe skins by preaching to the poor sots who have the unfortunate experience of walking into an AA meeting. A pox on Bill Wilson and all AA's who have followed the used the car saleman's program.
I attend AA in a mid sized metropolitan city. I have been sober a little over three years and stay active in the program. I thought I had people that cared but I feel worse than ever. I find members selling it like a timeshare and it makes me uncomfortable. My sobriety is life and it is hard. I am so lost in the program now that I have a little time. I have met some great people but I am so disconnected. I don't try to sound cool in meetings nor do I much enjoy listening to people trying to sound cool. I am burned out to say the least. The last thing I want is to be a big shot in this club or be around those that do. I am in a hard and lonely place. I have left all my friends behind and now I am with an AA community I don't enjoy. What has happened? I don't even know how to have a normal conversation with non AA people because I am speaking this weird AA language. People in the regular world find it bizarre. I was in an interview and using the cliche's. OMG how to I get deprogrammed and stay sober? I don't want to talk like this. I want to be normal and not drink. Not talk like a weirdo! Oh God help me....
one day at a time
it works if you work it
the serenity prayer
God never gives us more than we can handle
just for today
bless them,change me!
90 meetings in 90 days
keep coming back
keep it simple
No matter how far off the path you stumble, you are only 12 steps away from the solution!
I HAVE BEEN SOBER NEARLY 5 YEARS, LONGER THAN I WAS A DRUNK, WITHOUT THE HELP OF THOSE ASSHOLE PUSSY AA BITCHES!! TAKE THESE SAYINGS, YOUR FUCKING BIG BOOK, AND YOUR STUPID A2M MEETINGS AND POUND THEM UP YOUR ASSES!! I MADE IT JUST TO PISS OFF EVERY AA FAGGOT WHO TOLD ME I COULDN'T WITHOUT THE PROGRAM! AND FUCK YOU ASSHOLES CALLING IT A DISEASE. THAT'S A TOTAL COPOUT FOR WHINY BITCHES AND FAGGOTS THAT CAN'T TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR THEIR OWN FUCKUPS!! EVER HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH AN AA DIE HARD DOUCHEBAG?? THEY SPEAK IN CLICHES AND SHOULD YOU DISAGREE WITH THEM YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A DRY DRUNK! IF THERE ARE ANY AA PEOPLE READING THIS YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE LOSER AND BILL W. TOOK IT IN THE ASS!!!
I had a very serious drinking problem for about 4 years. I went to rehabs, AA meetings, and did the sponsor thing. I am sooo tired of the bullshit that AA people spew!! If you talk to someone who is in AA following a "program" all the do is talk in cliches, ready to answer any question with some ridiculous AA terminology. When you go to AA meetings all you ever hear about is the shit people did(war stories) when they were drinking.And how AA saved them!! Of course all they say when you ask them how AA saved them is that they "worked a solid program"!! AA is adamant that unless you work their program, get a sponsor, and attend meetings YOU WILL FAIL....you're a dry drunk if you get sober without doing these things.....WELL FUCK THEM!!! AS OF NOVEMBER I WILL BE SOBER(5 years) longer than I was a drunk. AND I DID IT ON MY OWN WITHOUT AA AND THEIR WHINY CULT FOLLOWERS!!!
This fucking place touts itself as a great rehab to get your life back. It only fucked mine. I had a drug problem. I quit when I was caught. Negative feedback and loss of job were all I needed. Now I'm sober without ANY of the bullshit Talbott crammed down my throat including: "you have a fatal disease", AA, higher power, etc. IT's all bullshit aimed at scaring you to death so you can "keep coming back" (and spending $$$ for it). They are profit driven and I hear business ain't so good now. I guess all the doctors forced there aren't enough to pay the bills. GOOD. Maybe the public will come to realize that 12 step bullshit just encourages more relapse. Fuck them, Fuck AA and fuck anyone who dares to tell me or anyone else how to live their lives. It is my life, my body and my time. Don't fuck with me or you'll be rehab of a different sort. Sober by choice, and I don't have a goddamn disease, you bunch of self-righteous assholes.
*Note from Anger Central
This was placed here simply for logistics purposes. We may build a new page later on.
I went there for about a year after people I was working with claimed how awesome it was and that I needed it to get better and change my life. I bought into all their bullshit thinking I needed to open up more at meetings, be more outgoing to find a good sponsor. They blamed everything on me saying I needed to change and be like them and made it seem like I would have a dream life if I kept going.
All I learned after a year of 30 meetings in 30 days crap, etc.was that my "sponsor" couldn't give a crap about me. She would tell me that God always takes things away when I told her I had met someone. She found every opportunity to knock me down-like a bad sales person trying to keep me coming back. She kept not answering my calls and I stopped calling. Then she tried to put a guilt trip on me and finally called me after two weeks of blowing me off. I said screw her, screw sponsors, screw the assholes in AA who did nothing but make me feel uncomfortable and like an outsider next to the long timers.
The long timers do control the meetings like a cult and if they cannot brainwash you they want nothing to do with you. What helped me was learning the lesson that these people didn't give a fuck about me and were competitive about their "sobriety". It is the same bullshit you can get in the real world. For me I realized that AA is kind of a sham and these people don't know you(even though they act like they do) and care about your success less than healthy people on the outside. Why do you have to keep going forever?
Being around these people was enough to keep me healthy enough to stay the hell away from that place!!!
A.A. is a congregation of the sickest people in the population. I went for four years stayed sober for 3&1/2 yrs. I had a sponsor worked the steps,sponsored others, chaired meetings, took meetings to jails& hospitals etc. You name it I did it. I suffer from bipolar disorder and was often told in so many words I probably didn't really have it,I just needed to work a better program and I wouldn't need meds. I stayed on my meds but they didn't always work so i'd get really really depressed and was told in the rooms it was because I wasn't doing enough. I just needed to go to more meetings(even though I went everyday.) I supposedly had all these friends who loved me unconditionally(you knw until I could love myself..such bs). That's until I tried to kill myself &almost succeeded(on a ventilator in ICU for 3 days). Things really began to change then. People started to return less&less of my calls. Then I eventually had a relapse and there was no one. No one cared how I was,but then again how could they. These people as I look back were seriously fucked up even more than me:long prison sentences,slept with anything that moved,talked shit about their so called friends,slept with newcomers and then dumped them routinely,and had no other life friends,activities except with other aas. I have been emotionally damaged by my fair weather cult friends. I have a really hard time trusting people moreso than before. Every "friend" I made through aa dumped me when I know longer fit the mold of what a good aa was. I am not looking for friends right now but when I do, I will be looking for friends who don't all talk alike. They won't be ex cons who spent most of their lives in seedy bars or drug houses. I want friends who are sane,successful,and happy enough with themselves not to need to talk smack about everyone else. I know I finding friends like that in the rooms is about as likely as finding a blizzard in th congo. Oh and these days I drink if I feel like it,if I don't, I don't. If I feel like I'm drinking too much I go talk t my shrink get my mood evened out &I don't drink too much. I used to buy into all of that if you have one you might as well drink the bottle cuz youre a hopeless drunk and yada yada yada. I used to drink way more listening to that aa dogma cuz I felt so guilty about drinking. I will never go back. But then I don't have to cuz my husbands in it and I get all the cliches and parrot like repitition I need at home. But that's a whole other rant. Oh and do not marry anyone in aa. Big mistake. Btw I will be filing for divorce soon since aa comes before our marriage,finances, and anything else regarding our home. But that's what I get for picking from the sickest of the sick. Thanks aa.NOT.
I have been frequently going to AA meetings for about the past month and.... Wow what a complete waste, you go, sit around and let people know that your there cause your addicted to alcohol... No shit sherlock, why the fuck else are you there dickweed!! I more than once have fallen into what almost was a deep sleep, you listen to people you don't know talk and rant on the "daily topic" when I don't give a fuck about the daily topic or their experiences living under the bridge or in their cars, people choose their fate, we dig our graves and label our tombstones I have my own issues I am dealing with I don't care about yours.... Don't get me started on the "gift basket" they pass around, I call it that because it is a gift basket, you cough up money for what? I have never put a penny in the basket and I never will I work hard for my money why the fuck am I handing it over to some guy I don't know, why am I paying to listen to ego fucks pour their "feelings" out on you.... The biggest stupid thing about AA is the chain smoking that occurs at these meetings, I mean seriously, it should be renamed to chainsmokers anonymous, its a sin to drink and get fucked up but its okay to inhale things that cause cancer? That makes sense, don't grab a drink grab a ciggarette and increase your chance of lung cancer, all in all AA is a waste of time and life and if your one of the few who attends I wish you the best of luck getting over your drinking issue but trust me, there are better ways to deal with it
I am angry because I am married to a "recovering" alcoholic...who thinks after 17 years in AA...he is "cured'. but goes to 5 meetings a week. Is abusive, is compulsive, is obsessive and is ANGRY. Nothing changes, except he uses AA and the bullshit lines they give to hold ME and the rest of the world up to scrutiny.
Social Club. All his so called friends are in the program. He won't help me if I need it, but if an AA member calls...he goes running.
when his AA meetings interfere with our personal time, and I ask
for time with him, I am told I am selfish. But, if he needs to go to a meeting,
anywhere, anytime, I am told to "respect his sobriety."
I have gone to open meetings and heard constant whining and complaining and gratefulness to AA for being there.
How about pulling yourself up and being responsible. They blame the "disease" without acknowledging they need to accept responsibility for THEIR behavior.
I went to Al anon at his insistence. When I stopped, because they told me I was responsible for his behavior...I left.
He became a total control freak and insisted I go.
I went to a different meeting. They told me that he was playing
head games...a symptom of the alcholism and to become strong and learn to stand
up to him, and separate from him emotionally.
when I started to do this...he freaked and told me to stop going!
They are all a bunch of obsessive compulsive weak human beings.
Because I went to AA, court ordered and its just a cult. I quit drinking without any help from any of them. I attended meetings and everyone that I have tried to get to know has tried to get me to work through AA's 12 steps which have nothing to do with my decision to quit. I'm mad because I actually believed that AA was what it claims to be. A fellowship of people that are there to be supportive to the still suffering alcoholic. No one has ever seemed to give a damn if I'm there or not.I've told of some life-threatening alcohol induced incidents to people who looked back with a blank stare. The women that I've considered for "sponsorship" because I was told that I'm supposed to have "sponsor" have grated my last nerve trying to convince me that the 12 steps are absolutely necessary for sobriety. Hell, I'm sober! I want someone to show some enthusiasm for my accomplishment and utter encouraging words, oh well. Silly me!
It really just blows my mind that the courts can order you into an actual cult, unbelievable.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent.
What a bunch of screwups at A.A.
Losers just sitting around counting their misery, they were control freaks when drinking and now just try to exert control upon newcomers but veil it as "sponsorship.
Their silly colloquialisms and sanctimonious cliche's add up to a singular form of arrogance that "everyone else is a failure unless they're working the steps". Everyone there smokes like a chimney, a big chunk of them use marijuana as a substitute while claiming to be sober. Most of them have less teeth than brain cells and that isn't many and it is laughable when they sit around scheming to "13th Step" newcomer girls as if they'd have anything to do with their grossness.
Their "First Step" meetings are just baptisms in humiliation and the start of indoctrination of self loathing.
Get away from these people because they're only happy when they're wallowing in collective misery while secretly lusting for a martini!
Here in Kansas, there is a large A.A group in the largest Kansan town (tallest midget in the room) and they are so idiotic !
One night, two of their "trusted servants" told me to stop bringing a laptop to use before and after meetings since it might distract me from helping a newcomer drunk and they'd go out and kill someone or god forbid...relapse!
This is one of the same members who introduces themselves as the only member of their family who isn't on parole and proud of it. Most of the members are missing one or more of their front teeth and they all wreak worse than ashtrays. Everyone is a sycophant looking for a ride or computer tech support or whatever skill a newcomer has they try to exploit for free. When they aren't trying to sell you some overpriced piece of personal junk, they're sitting around bragging about their wealth and status while they drove up in a car with missing bumpers, cracked windshield and ankle bracelets. A bunch of losers sitting around counting up their misery and the ultimate douche poseurs.
I have been going to AA for three years and sober, Previously I
had been going on & off inconsistently for about 10 years sober/non- sober.
I have met nice people in AA and backstabbers also. When you put all your trust into something it can happen with any group and there are manipulative people in AA as there are good also. I've ran into racists, homo-phobes, anti- semites, womanizers, thieves, and rude people all in these meeting rooms quoting from the big book, In the beginning I went to many meetings. Now not so much. I do not have a compulsion to pick up a drink like I used to have. The stories at the meeting can be uplifting or they can be depressing. I heard it said " No meeting is a bad meeting". I think that is a matter of opinion, but the passion I once had for attending meetings has diminished some. I don't know why. I do know you come wiser with time and learn to pick your meetings thats right for you. I used to go to a men's meeting where everyone talked about what they scored on the golf course that day. That quickly got crossed off my list. Lip service at meeting is prevalent, if your looking for real help you will get a hand up and not a hand out-. Many meetings people are in the moment, happy and once they leave you don't hear from them again. If you are different in any way, personality or mannerisms, I didn't always find the acceptability from fellow AA'ers that I heard about. Also gossip of certain members and cliques were rampant. This was a huge turnoff for me. I am asked to carry this moniker "alcoholic" on my back for the rest of my life even though I haven't drank in three years. The dilemma I have is that by attending these meeting I am constantly reminded of the past. Some may argue that is good, however I struggle with that.
Is AA preventing me from being free and moving into my future unhindered. I will stop now because I fear I am becoming redundant. I do not know if I made myself clear and understandable, however thats the best I can express my feelings in words at this time. Anyway I'll end with this, this is my opinion, you may have a different one but the above has been my experience so far and I am speaking for myself.
I haven't attended AA for several years now ,but I am still to this day haunted by it's ugliness and brutality.
I was by all accounts a good little AA soldier for around 2 and a half years ,doing just about everything I was told to do. Sure enough ,I did stay sober all that time ,but it wasn't worth it. I don't think I've ever been unhappier or more insane, than when I was in AA.
The thing that really got to me most about all this unhappiness and insanity stuff ,was the utter and total feeling of alienation and isolation ;as I simply knew I couldn't tell anyone in AA or anyone at all how I really felt ,or how much I bitterly disagreed with AA's nonsensical program.
There was NOONE to vent my real thoughts and feelings to. NOONE! For me ,being trapped in AA was a living hell of ....wait for it: Mind control! AA really does use known mind control tactics ,group think ,follow the 'herd' ,agree or be humiliated ,Manchurian candidate-esque mind control.
I was absolutely TERRIFIED of leaving AA ,and thought I would be trapped forever ,until one evening ,just after a meeting ,one of the 'Elders' gave me a smug ,smart-assed little one-liner about not attending enough meetings, and I basically was so upset and angry ,that I simply KNEW I had just attended my final AA meeting ,or: I was going to murder one of these sick-fuck old timers ,who get worshipped by everyone for their sober time ,but in real life are about as healthy as walking antrax bombs!
You can basically tell how mentally unstable these 'sober' people are by the degree of sheer nastiness and venom that can be detected in the things they say and do. They are in no position to think themselves superior ,in any regard! And as for all the AA devotees who think I'm not entitled to judge ,I say "Fuck you!".I am perfectly entitled to judge as I don't do what they do. I have the right to my feelings of anger and no self-righteous sociopathic cunt can stop me expressing myself. One classic defence of diseased cowardly bullies is exactly that: Don't judge me! They even have the audacity to quote the Bible in this regard,etc,etc .fucking losers.
And I had 2 sponsors in AA. Both sicker than I was. One had switched his addiction to horse races ,the other was addicted to religion (By God ,you'd better watch out for these ones!!) The religious one didn't know when to shut up. He'd talk and talk and talk in my face with bad breath about his sexual guilt about wanking off and his history of screwing dwarves and handicapped people ,and how he had to get a bowel operation for damage to his bowel doing you know what with his anus ,blah ,blah etc..SICK!! As if I needed to know all this 'confession' shit. And he even said we were just '2 peas in the same pod' ,no different? What?? WTF??! This guy had 17 years sober time and still mad as a march hare.
And did I die or get locked up from leaving AA? Hardly! I can choose to drink sometimes ,even occasionally get drunk without any consequences at all. No BS. This shows what a total crock of shit the disease theory is.
Anyone who thinks AA is helpful is dangerously wrong. I can't imagine an unhealthier or more depressing place to go each and every night of the fucking week ,year in and year out. So fucking what if AA people are sober. Big deal. If you are sober and are a bully and a total asshole AND part of a cult that preys on vulnerable people ,your sobriety doesn't mean shit. You still nothing but a scumbag ,and a total nobody ;I don't care if you're 100 years sober ,you can just FUCK OFF.
So anyway ,I said my piece. Enough "AA bashing" for now ,and back to my LIFE, which is actually rather sweet ,since leaving AA.
AA Member: How are you?
AA Recruit: Good, thanks.
AA Member: NO! I mean how are you really?! (look of suspicion and paranoia)
AA Recruit: Really working hard. Been loaded down with work and been real busy. Thanks for asking.
AA Member: Oh I see!!! Money is the problem and not YOU then???
AA Recruit: Bye.
What AA Recruit is supposed to say: Yeah, it's me. It's all me. Dog that I am. What was I thinking working this job? You're right. I'll quit my job because there's something wrong with me, I guess. It's time for me to accept some responsibility for once in my sorry life damn it. I'm quitting my job and coming to a meeting! Mortgage be damned!!!
They try to kid you into thinking that they have something up on the world because they claim that they are powerless. Then go on to insinuate that putting the responsibility somewhere else (ie. powerless) something new for them? Always blaming something else. Babys. Sorry lot of emotional infants. Why, being powerless is what they've always claimed best with or without liquor, milk or tea. Why, wasn't/isn't it always someone else's fault? Go suck up a slurpy. Sucking is something else you've always done best. Who the fuck gets applause for not ingesting alcohol? And so very condescending. Applaud this! Truly achieve something real for applause you bunch of whiners. I can't believe live like that.
I've been screwed over by more "sober" people while attending AA than I ever have been by "normal" people. Never again will I trust a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've never taken anyone to court in my life before now! Thanks AA...you're swell!
AA is a sick, depraved, egotist-driven organization--The Drunkzarotti, if you will--who lie through their goddamn teeth about love and unconditional acceptance in order to lure in unsuspecting hurting souls and to boost their fucked-up membership. While these bastards promise help and love, they gossip about other AA members behind their backs, especially those who have criminal histories and those who have a hard time staying sober, and they even openly speculate about those who they think will stay sober and those who will likely go out and drink again. That's a hell of a thing for a person to overhear who's been struggling with alcoholism and who wants to get and stay sober, knowing they're being watched like a hawk and being put down behind their backs. That's the kind of bitch-ass motherfuckers who are in AA, but there's one goddamned bastard here in Columbus, GA, who I'm not going to allow the luxury of hiding behind AA's anonymity. I hope the son of a bitch reads this and chokes, goddamn his sick-ass soul!!! His name is Daniel Merritt (he calls himself Danny), and he's a schoolteacher, a supposed pillar of the community. Sometimes he's showed up at AA meetings with booze on his breath but has never acknowledged his slips, and he tries to hit on the lonelier, more vulnerable women at the meetings. This self-righteous bastard--whom his mother ought to have aborted if she had any inkling at all about the no-good, shitsucking, maggot-ass bottom-feeling scumbag loser he was going to become--has had the colossal audacity to look down his nose at me and judge me on my past when, as an AA member, he should have put his personal feelings aside and been there for my recovery and continuing sobriety instead. That's what really goes on in AA, not the rosy picture people want to portray! I hope Danny dies. No, I won't touch him because the ultimate insult to me would be to get in trouble over the likes of him--if this real live piece of shit even deserves the honor of being considered part of the human race. But I do hope he meets someone with a hell of a lot less to lose than I do, so we can all be rid of this AA-representing son of a bitch. Listen!! If you are suffering from any kind of addiction, avoid AA like the plague! There are plenty of alternative recovery programs out there. Don't get trapped up in the AA cult! While there are some good individuals in the program, most of them are devils in disguise who think that because they have some time sober, God has entitled them to look down on others. They've forgotten the times they were hated, reviled,despised, and unwanted, as if they have suddenly had conferred upon them the luxury of sitting in judgment of others. Goddamn these lowlife bastards!! My new mission in life is to oppose AA with every fiber of my being and to direct the still-addicted to better alternatives. Meanwhile, I hope Danny stumbles across this and reads it. I hope he feels just as hurt and demeaned as I did when he took it upon himself to be my judge, jury, and executioner. Better yet, maybe he will drop dead. I will piss on his grave and celebrate if he does. YEE-HAW!!!
Im more frustrated that angry with A.A. I've stayed sober for a year at a time then I go to a meeting and the first thing I want to do it drink~funny then it happens. It's my fault for drinking this I know and I am not blaming AA or the people that go. I started drinking agian and thought I had best go back to meetings and get a sponser, now I am angrier than before! There is a man their who has about a gazillion years sobriery (or so he says) and he is always looking down at me it seems when it it my turn to (forcibally) speak. First off I don't know this man's story but I do know that as a REAL alcoholic I don't know how he has seriously gone 40+ years with out a drink, I am commited to staying sober, yet I know that someday in the future I will more than likely have a bad night and just drink. This has been the pattern, I have 12 months, I get an unreasonable urge and I give in, the next day I am ready to be sober agian. So I feel angry that maybe this guy who thinks so little of me for not having 40+ yrs is really a bullshit artist and doesn't have what he says he does. My 1st sponser was really nice and I like her, but she would allude to drinking too much on the weekends, luckily it didn't "ruin my life" she would say. I began to wonder if she was really an alcohlic or perhaps simply a problem drinker that was lonely and wanted the fellowship of a meeting? I had to look elsewhere. So I hate going to meetings, I hate speaking at meetings, I hate saying hi at meetings, they seem to be nice people but I feel jusged and don't know why for sure. Even with my new Sponser who is a happy person, who is centered and productive (through the program she says) I still feel burning anger that I have to go back every week. I know that if I don't these people are going to be nosey, they are going to be talking about me and saying I am drinking agian. I hate them for thinking they have the right! I don't care what they do why should they care what I do!? Lastly, I think I am angry because I know I will never stop completely. Yes, I am an alchoholic, yes I refrain for months at a time, but that does not mean that I don't want that option - being that it is completely LEGAL even for me. As long as I don't get behind a wheel and no one is around - I feel like Screw people Screw their concern, Screw them for getting in MY buisness. I haven't drank in front of anyone in 4 years and YES I do like the feeling, I no longer like it every day, I don't even think about it when I am busy during the college semesters. But FFS! I am 32 years old and I don't think I should have to fear snide remarks and ungenuine "consern" from people who need someone to talk about to boost their self esteem. Not all are like that but the few who are - makes me so uncomfortable. If I had any kind of cajones I would tell my sponser I didn't want to go anymore and that would be that. Unfourtunatly I abhor being judged so I will keep going until we are able to move in a year and then NEVER AGIAN
What angers me personally is the fact that these meetings are not all that anonymous. People will call you out in public, even where you work. Die-Hard AA-er's will alienate you if you are not working "their" program. That is, what they perceive the program to be for themselves. Now, I am all for associating with people who are trying to avoid alcohol. I personally don't do too well in bars. But after having had five sponsors, I have yet to find a truly objective listener. I was in agony and called one in tears one time, simply because I was trying not to relapse and needed someone to talk to. Instead of telling me personally that it made her uncomfortable, she chaired a meeting and asked the group to share about their definition of sponsorship. She then shot me a cold look and proceeded to call on people. Some of these people just love to punish.
I would imagine that a lot of them come from punitive family situations and would do very well with outside counseling.
I could go on and on about the other ways in which I was punished by sponsors, but in that event, I could start my own website or novel.
There has been extensive research into a brain-liver condition that makes the disease theory quite plausible, but what I find curious is how nobody there wants to hear about it. I've found one person who will listen to this science without interrupting me with dogma. One person even tried to tell me that it wasn't genetic because his siblings don't drink like an alcoholic. Well, neither do mine, but our uncle drank himself do death. Not all of my siblings have the same hair color, either - and none of us are adopted.
I continue to go, but I do it on my own terms. There are a lot
of things I like about AA. But I refuse to give in to brainwashing when the
average person who goes will not investigate anything outside of AA literature
in the name of "Keep it Simple." They sit there and rant sometimes in tears
about how they are going crazy, but they won't read about how alcohol abuse
ravages the body and how nutritional supplements and real food can balance the
brain. I believe in a higher power, but I also believe that we weren't created
to eat manufactured, cheap, processed, toxic food.
Alcoholics in particular are seriously deficient in minerals after all that abuse. Sugar has also been proven to make a person crave alcohol. There's way too much of that crap there - and most of these people get fat substituting bad food for alcohol.
I don't care how long a person has been sober. It doesn't matter if they don't want to legitimately help people because they relapse. The whole winner/loser alienation philosophy drives people back out all the time. Sponsors and friends who don't stand by people who relapse are part of the problem. It's supposed to be a support group.
I renctly got a DUI related charge. It was wrong I know. But what pisses me off is that the courts are making me get treatment for a condition I DO NOT HAVE! I. Have to attend AA meetings where people sit around talk about how awful their life is and that's why they drink. Iam sorry but it's self pity to me. I got a DUI. I messed up. But I don't expect anybody to give me a hug and say "it not your fault". Damn right it's my fucking fault. I drink twice maybe three times a month. Yes I tend to over do it at times. But I don't do it everyday . I don't do it when I have to work or worse when I m at work! I hate that I made this mistake and put people. At risk. I deserve to lose my driving privileges . I walk to work. I do not ask or accept rides . It's my way of punishing myself. I don't know why they didn't give me jail. But instead making me admit to something I know in my heart is not true. It's humuliating. I feel like a loser. I hate the whole concept of AA. It's not a disease . I drank by choice. I over drank by choice. Not because I have a disease I have no control. The courts would be better off giving me a jail sentence. I broke the law. I deserve it. But this isn't holding me accountable for my actions. It's saying " oh poor you". So dumb. I' refuse to have self pity on myself or let others. Pity me. But I do not to sit in on meetings with a bunch of people who try and say that drinking in excess is not their fault. Augh so disgusted.
I wanna know why the fuck my sponsor acts like she is supposed to be running my damn life? She has tried to give me "advice" on everything from work to money to my love life and even what I should do with my free time! She basically told me that I need someone to think for me since my thinking is screwed up. That's bullshit! She is trying to run my damn life, claiming she is just trying to help.
Whenever I am upset or angry about something they tell me something is wrong with me and that I just need to accept things. Fuck that! I'm not just going to accept anything that happens to me. Are they saying if I got draped that I should just accept it? Or what about if someone killed a family member? I'm not supposed to be sad or angry? Its like they want you to become a robotic human with no emotions.
The solution they tell you for everything is to go to more meetings or chair the meetings or work with a newcomer. What about actually solving the fucking problem? Its like they want your whole damn life to revolve around AA just like it used to revolve around alcohol and drugs.
Some of the people around there are so fucking miserable that you wanna give them a drink. The purpose of the meetings is supposed to be to "carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers" yet at a lot of the meetings people just talk about their problems or what happened to them that day.
They claim you have to go to these miserable ass meetings for the rest of your life or you will get drunk and die! That's ridiculous! I was thirteenth stepped when I first entered the program. Nobody bothered to warn me, yet they cared so much that they talked about how much of a slut they thought I was.
These people claim to care but they never call, text, or invite me anywhere. They say its a fellowship. I don't understand what they are basing that on. My sponsor has clashed with me lately about everything. She is constantly putting me down for only working part time. Anytime me and my boyfriend argue she automatically places the blame on me.
There's many contradictions in AA. I have been sober for over a year now but I have been in the program for 2 and 1/2 years. I wonder if AA got me sober or if I just got sober? I feel like I've been more depressed lately listening to their bullshit about how to live my life! I'm ready to say goodbye to AA and try a better way of staying sober!
I've been going to AA pretty consistently for the past eleven months, although I had been going on and off (occasionally going to meetings) for the past few years.
I need to get some things about Alcoholics Anonymous off my chest, before I explode. Although I do appreciate the fellowship and support I get from the meetings sometimes, I can't help but feel like it's just never enough to these people. I feel like nothing I do is ever enough, and I have health problems which I had when I came into the program. I'm really exhausted and anxious, and still feel guilty for not "following the rules". I'm often made to feel like I'm lazy or self-centered, just because I want to take care of myself! These people have no understanding of what it feels like to have medical issues, except for my 65 year old sponsor who has illnesses too!
Oh, and don't even get me started on the disgusting men that are on the lookout for vulnerable women. It's pathetic how some people are willing to sink so low! It's supposed to be safe for new people there but just in case, you should know how to stand up for yourself.
There's also a lot of self-righteousness in the members, even for just a short amount of time. They say to keep an open mind, and not to have "contempt prior to investigation." Yet, they never even ask me what's going on with me, but just distance themselves from me when I come back after having not been to a meeting for even a few days! Missing a meeting for a couple of days makes me feel like a complete fucking asshole! I'd probably be shunned for taking a vacation.
I had some better self-esteem before I came into this program, although I did used to smoke way too much weed. I'm grateful for quitting smoking over a year and a half, and honestly have no desire to smoke again because my life is much better since I quit. But I am having some doubts over whether I made the right choice to get involved with this organization, because I cannot afford to be beating myself up while I'm trying to recovery from medical problems, which require patience and gentleness on my part. I might just have to go to therapy or find some other group of understanding people, because this is inappropriate. These people need to get off their fucking high horses. Fuck that!
The more you look & read into AA, you begin to see the true deception it its principles & literature. The "BIG BOOK" is nothing more than a self defeating, personal destroyer of the mind & spirit. With attending the meetings regularly & doing almost everything in a futile attempt to be perfect...high school like cliques & similarities become a way of life for the majority of these sad, useless fucks. Why would you be just as obsessed with not getting high just as much as when you were getting high? Why would you help others soley to receive an award or to help yourself feel better? Why would you call yourself an addict after having multiple years clean? As if everything you worked hard for is null & void. A pointless way to view your life & destroy any kind of personal growth youve strived for. COMPLETE HYPOCRISY. Save yourself the wasted time & effort with this sick cult & love yourself & others.
AA is a for fucking looser !!!! All they do is sit around and cry like little kid's Get a new life with out this group
AA does suck. I never went to AA, but I went to GA some time ago, and its the same bullshit there, a bunch of fucking mopes who need to get on with their life. At the time, I only went because my parents made me. I was like 20, and I had to go if I wanted to use the car for the summer. However, I new as soon as I turned 21 I would be going full fledged and hard core to some local CT casinos. About 5 years ago, I finally quit going. I realized it was stupid and destructive, so I quit. No GA, no bullshit. I remembered the mopes and didn't want to return. I'm not a compulsive gambler for life. I used to be, and then I quit...
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