Brief history, I am a network administrator for a small company, our IT Dept has 5 people of which I have two bosses. My DIRECT boss is the main focus of my anger for the following reasons.
She gives me the same review two years in a row. She just took a copy of the one from last year and added two more negative lines to it. She has no basis in which to back up any of her negative statements and even CONTRADICTS herself by saying "I rush through things and err on the side of caution" all in the same sentence. She has NEVER once even discussed a project I was working on let alone know half the work I do so how the hell can she even evaluate me?!?
After giving me a shitty review, she then asks me how to do something. WTF?? She does this with everything. Gets someone else to do it. If there wasn't a phone in her cube, she would be EXPOSED. Anything she does she calls someone else and just pushes buttons on a keyboard like a fucking trained chimp. Even the most basic IT knowledge she lacks but yet, comes in the IT Dept talking trash about how stupid the "END USERS" are.
She regurgitates what other people are saying as they are speaking word for word. Even while they are speaking she will do this, waiting until she hears the next word out of their mouth so she can repeat it. She does this while the other person is explaining something to an end user, and she acts like she is the one explaining it to them. It sounds like a bad reverb effect. I constantly call her on it saying "I just said that." "I hear an echo." or "Are we on a submarine? 20 degrees to port engines 1/4 full." "Aye, aye, 20 degrees to port engines 1/4 full sir."
She has the technical intellect of a rock. Every time we are working on a project after hours, I am the lead. She waits for me to trouble shoot and figure out the solution, then when the other boss (IT Director) asks what the problem was she explains it to them, usually wrong with me correcting her. This is usually the case with everything, IT Director gives my boss a project, I let my boss flail around clueless for a bit, then explain how to fix the problem, let her try to fix it, she fucks it up, I then fix it, she tells the boss it is fixed and takes the credit. I am constantly amazed at her ability to FUCK everything up that she touches. I feel like the cat from the Hong Kong Phooey, cleaning up her fuck-ups and getting no credit. When she does try to fix something on her own, it takes her 10 times longer than just having me do it. Sometimes I remotely watch her work on something laughing to myself as she goes into the wrong area and flails around aimlessly.
She spends the majority of the day just TALKING. She goes from cube to cube telling the same story over and over again. People call me telling me to come get my boss out of their department because they are sick of listening to her.
When she is not talking she is on her machine instant messaging her hubby and girlfriends. I intercept her instant messages and read her every word. I have thought about setting up a website blog that automatically posts her IMs. She is so clueless.
I feel like I am part of every personal conversation she has. She is always on the phone talking about her two troll kids to hubby, her girlfriends and whoever the hell else will listen. She is so LOUD.
When her little shit kid gets sick at school about every two weeks, she coddles him on the phone and sometimes leaves work early. The kid is now 10 and now that she can't put him in daycare, she will just bring him into work. The kid is just as annoying as her. Last time, he puked in one of my co-workers garbage cans.
She tries to bring any work related conversation into a discussion about her personal life which revolves entirely around her little pansy ass kids. She refers to friends of hers that I have never even met or know anything about like I have known them for years. She says "Donald told me this and that." I tell her "WHO THE FUCK IS DONALD??" Then regret asking.
She slurps and sucks on the end of her bottled water like a porn star. Then lets out an "Ahhhh" like it was the most refreshing drink she has ever had. She repeats this about 50 time a day.
When she eats candy, she chews them with her front teeth like a damn rodent and all I hear is a nasal crunching noise.
She has a lisp and can't say a damn "S" properly. When she speaks to me, I can't focus on anything but the lisp. It drives me insane and I want to knock her front teeth out to fix the problem.
She over uses the word "Right" no shit between 100 - 200 times a day. When anyone is talking to her about ANYTHING, she just keeps saying..."Right" "Right" "Right" it is maddening.
She says the following phrases way to much:
"Jeepers creepers"
"Quite frankly"
"No, no, no, I know"
"It is what it is"
and my all time favorite "Six to one half dozen of the other"
She doesn't know how to BLEND her makeup. Even as a guy, I know she is just slapping on two gobs of blush on each check and saying "Gorgeous" when the truth is, she looks like the star of Who's The Boss.
She claims to be in an inter-racial marriage because she married a guy who was BORN in Costa Rica, but pretty much has lived in the USA most of his life. This of course makes her the authority on anything of Hispanic origin and she tries to impress us with her skills (or lack of) in Espanola. Someone asked her how to say "Happy Birthday" in Spanish and she couldn't remember.
If I never saw her again, it would be too soon.
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